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Pornography changes people. Does it change everyone who watches it? Not necessarily. But some are more vulnerable to the feelings that pornography creates in them, and porn addiction is certainly a possibility. Unfortunately, it’s not just the addiction some who is addicted has to deal with; they also have to cope with the way it changes their feelings about what a healthy sexual relationship should be. Here’s what porn promises that can cause problems with real world scenarios.

The Immediacy

When a person can be in the middle of the desert and pull up pornography, it’s pretty obvious that the phrase “porn is everywhere” is more accurate than ever before. And while the instant gratification initially feels good, it certainly doesn’t follow the way that most relationships grow. Porn is seconds away, a time-frame that simply doesn’t exist when dealing with actual human encounters. If the “right now” is valued more than the interest in human touch, it can affect relationship behaviors.

Too Much Variety

The variety of sexual positions seen in even the most simple pornographic video is more than most people will try in a year. When one partner gets the idea that a sexual experience is not complete until three or more positions have been tried, it can make the other partner feel uncomfortable (especially if an abandoned position was the one causing the other partner the most pleasure). While variety is satisfying for many couples, the expectation of constant variety can harm a relationship.

Duration

How long should sex last? Obviously, it should last as long as the couple in question is interested in it lasting, and it’s always important to communicate that to each other. While the most desirable length for a typical sexual encounter seems to be between seven and thirteen minutes, some people need more and some less. But when one partner has a pornography addiction, the expectation might be that a sexual encounter should last half an hour or more.

side-limeBody Image

One of the saddest aspects of pornography addiction is that it can create a lack of interest in a long-term partner’s body. It should come as no surprise that most pornography features young people with lithe bodies. But if a person is in a long-term relationship, the body of a partner is going to change; pounds will be added, wrinkles will appear, and they won’t be as limber as they once were. The idea of what an “ideal body” is (and what it can do) is simply unrealistic as a couple ages together.

The Aggression

Sadly, pornography is getting more aggressive. Even worse, it’s almost all aimed at women. Most pornography of today involves some rough behavior, whether it’s slapping, choking, or verbal aggression. To top it all off, both partners in these videos appear to be enjoying these actions. For those in long-term relationships who know their partner’s sexual interests, it’s unlikely that they’ll try to introduce this into their sex lives. But for a young adult suffering from pornography addiction, it can create dangerous ideas of what a healthy sexual relationship should be.

Is pornography always bad? The jury is still out. But what we do know is that pornography addiction can most certainly be destructive to relationships. If you or a loved one has a pornography addiction or cybersex addiction, contact Sexual Addiction Treatment Services today.